new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize
