no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
