So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
