I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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