these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
