So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I fill condoms, not promises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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