he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Randomize