I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
