Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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