Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
