He kissed a someone with a penis
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
