She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
