Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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