I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize