Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
