He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
