I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
