My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
