We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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