Is it because I queefed?
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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