I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
You pole danced in your parka.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
