I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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