I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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