She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
