now i know why i became what i already was.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
