Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
