half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I still have a little drunk in my system
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
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