Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
