Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
