I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
