very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
