yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
