I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
