please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
