we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
