Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
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