forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
We left the knife in your bed.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
