no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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