stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Is it penis luge time yet?
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
