did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
