I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize