im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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