Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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