What did we do last night that was yellow?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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