Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
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He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
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I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize