Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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