Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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