Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
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