I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Send help, water and tortillas.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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