u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
