I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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