i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
