So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
