hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
i wish my penis had a tongue
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
