im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
