Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
