you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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