Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
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