i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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