How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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