Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize