If i come over, it means nothing
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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