She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Text me some of your sweat
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