Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Randomize
