just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
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